*Fiction — September 6, 2022
Orf
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A stranger arrived from a place none of us had ever heard of. Orf is what he called it.
We heard he rented a room from the Widow Eck and came out only at mealtimes.
Has he no interest in visiting our municipal chambers? asked the consul. Surely they are finer here than in Orf.
We went to the Widow Eck’s house and waited for the stranger to come out. We wanted to know about Orf. We demanded he tell us!
The Widow Eck was questioned.
What does he smell of, we asked her. Does he smell of Orf?
But the Widow Eck had never smelled Orf before. That was the whole problem.
The consul knocked on the stranger’s door and whispered, We will allow you to remain here if and only if you tell us the ways of Orf.
And if I don’t? the stranger whispered back.
If you don’t, we loose ten mule deer into the house of the Widow Eck, and they will eat everything she owns.
The stranger opened the door a crack.
We demand you deliver three lectures in three nights at the bureau of cultural affairs, said the consul. The first lecture will be on the municipal chambers of Orf. The second lecture will be on trials by divination in Orf. The third lecture will be on fertility and ritual madness in Orf. Pending our satisfaction with these topics, we will consider extending your stay.
And if you are not satisfied? asked the stranger.
If we are not satisfied, we will enclose you in a pen with twenty mule deer. Then we will smear you with sweet cherries, which mule deer find delicious! said the consul.
Everyone came to the bureau to hear the first lecture by the stranger from Orf. All week we had debated the details of that unknown place. The water is harder in Orf, we said. The air grainy, the birds vicious. The people are prosperous, but awful to look at.
Everyone came to the bureau to hear the first lecture by the stranger from Orf. All week we had debated the details of that unknown place. The water is harder in Orf, we said. The air grainy, the birds vicious. The people are prosperous, but awful to look at.
The room quieted when the stranger took the lectern. He pulled his cap off of his head and drank a full glass of water.
Tonight I will tell you about the municipal chambers of Orf, he said, his eyes fixed on the windows behind our heads.
In Orf, the rotunda straddles six fountains carved with broken yokes and cats’ heads, he said.
We turned around in our chairs to follow his gaze. He was describing our rotunda!
You can’t have the same buildings in Orf! said the consul.
But we do, said the stranger. Just inside the gallery an old woman stands behind a desk, ringing a bell.
The consul heckled. He knew that woman, she was his wife.
But the stranger from Orf would not be stopped. There are debtors in the cellar, and storks in the dome, he said. There are tadpoles swimming in the toilets…
There are not, we said. Stop making things up!
There is a goat tied to a post in the parking lot, he said. There are bricks of coal in the vault!
You’re lying! we said. We blocked our ears, chanting ORF! ORF! ORF!
When we rose from our chairs, the stranger swung the podium through a stained glass window depicting the founding of our town. He darted through the jagged hole and took off, shredding one leg of his trousers. We chased him, but he is gone now. Back to Orf.
We returned to the bureau to gossip. That was the worst possible outcome, said the consul. How can it be that the municipal chambers are the same in Orf, no worse and no better?
The meek among us said we might have waited to hear about the judicial proceedings in Orf, or the consumption of happy-making spirits.
We must deny Orf ever happened to us, the others said. We will not sit to be mocked!
Originally published in No Tokens Issue No. 10. View full issue & more.